I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
