some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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