she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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