Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
