I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
