Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Dick very happy bro
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
