Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
