New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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