I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dude i'm inner monologue high
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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