i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
