Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
