I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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