he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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