Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
