I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think your dad took our porno
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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