Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
