I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
