the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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