i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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