you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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