Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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