There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
