He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
