He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
