Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
