that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
