I'm really into asian looking animals
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
