I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
