3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
