i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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