can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
