your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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