i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
no. you can't hotbox the world.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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