Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
