So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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