The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
