The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
