theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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