why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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