I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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