I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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