i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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