I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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