Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm getting married
To pizza
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
