so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
