What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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