your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
