Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
