I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
