O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
